Miranda
by JeeSun
Summary: LAST PART UP! CJ suddenly has to take care of her six year old niece Miranda. Toby tries to help and it brings up memories from their past that none of them likes to think of.
1. Part 1

Title: Miranda (I know, title sucks)  
  
Author: JeeSun  
  
Category: CJ/Toby  
  
Summary: CJ suddenly has to take care of her six year old niece Miranda. Toby tries to help and it brings up memories from their past that none of them likes to think of.  
  
Rating: PG-13 maybe for using the F-word or I don't know. Suck at rating!  
  
Spoilers: None that I can think of.  
  
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me. Or in fact some do. *lol* But not the regular gang; CJ, Josh, Toby, Potus, yada, yada, yada.  
  
Authors note 1: First of all, I have to warn you. This isn't beta-read so you'll probably find some grammar that isn't correct. I did, however use the spell check on my computer so that should be okay.  
  
Authors note 2: I know that this plot has been used like a hundred times before in other fanfics, but it's a great plot and I decided to give it a try.  
  
Feedback: Yes please. Jee__Sun@hotmail.com  
  
  
  
  
  
Part 1  
  
When CJ passed Carol's desk on her way to her own Carol was on the phone. Just when CJ had sat down by her desk, Carol yelled at her:  
  
"Call for you on line two!"  
  
CJ sighed and picked up the phone. "CJ Cregg. Yes, Michael Cregg is my brother. What?"  
  
* * * * *  
  
Leo was on his way to CJ's office. He had tried to call her, but no one answered. Her afternoon briefing should have begun a few minutes ago, but no CJ had showed up. Leo knew there was no reason for CJ to be late to her briefing, and now he wanted to know what was wrong. Before entering CJ's office, he noticed that Carol's desk was empty. He soon noticed that CJ's office was, as well. When he turned around, he bumped into Toby.  
  
"Where the hell is CJ?" he yelled at him before he began walking down the hallway.  
  
Toby picked up his quick pace and rubbed his forehead. "How the hell should I know? I thought you had heard something."  
  
"Have you tried her cell?"  
  
"Ginger's on it. Do you want me to call Henry?"  
  
Leo nodded before entering his office. "And find CJ, will you?"  
  
When Toby entered the bullpen, he noticed that Ginger was on the phone.  
  
"Is that CJ?" he asked quietly and Ginger nodded.  
  
Toby walked in to his office, closed the door and picked up the phone. "CJ?"  
  
"Yes, it's me." She said and sighed into the phone.  
  
"Where the hell are you?" Toby tried to keep his voice down, but it was hard knowing that CJ had screwed up a briefing.  
  
"Toby."  
  
"This better be good, CJ!"  
  
"You know what Toby? Never mind. Okay?"  
  
Before Toby got the chance to answer, she hung up the phone. He was still sitting with the phone in his right hand a few seconds after she had hung up. Only a second after that his phone rang again. He picked it up quickly, hoping it was CJ.  
  
"Yes?" he said hopefully.  
  
"Do you know where CJ is?"  
  
"No, Leo. I talked to her a minute ago, but I didn't get much out of her. She seemed pissed."  
  
Leo sighed. "Now, what have you done? Call her up and find out where she is!"  
  
Toby sighed and dialed one of few numbers he knew in his head. When no one answered on her cell phone, he called her at home but no answer there either.  
  
"Ginger!" Ginger appeared in the doorframe. "Can you get me Carol on the phone?"  
  
"She left with CJ half a few hours ago."  
  
"Then get her on the cell!"  
  
Ginger walked away and called his name a few seconds later.  
  
"Carol? It's Toby. Do you know where CJ is?"  
  
"Yes, I do. Although, I'm not sure she would have wanted me to tell you."  
  
"Carol," Toby groaned. "I know I screwed up, but I really need to know where she is."  
  
Carol sighed, knowing that her boss probably would kill her for this later. "She just stepped on a plane to New York, Toby."  
  
Toby rubbed his forehead. "New York? Why, why would she go to New York today?"  
  
"She found out earlier today that her brother Michael and his family were in a car accident."  
  
"A car accident? How are they?"  
  
"I don't know, Toby. She didn't say much on her way to the airport. But, I'm pretty sure it's bad, Toby. Really bad."  
  
TBC. 


	2. Part 2

For notes and disclaimers, see part 1.  
  
  
  
  
  
Part 2  
  
When CJ was in the cab on the way to the hospital, she turned on her cell phone. She sighed when she saw that she had eight missed messages from Toby.  
  
"Are we there soon?" CJ asked the driver impatiently.  
  
"I'm sorry, ma'am. There's a lot of traffic today."  
  
CJ sighed and leaned back, knowing there was nothing else she could do. She hadn't understood most of what the doctor had told her earlier on the phone, but she did understand that her brother and his wife were dead. She also understood that her nephew Aaron wasn't doing well. She wasn't sure how Miranda was doing, but knew that she was still alive.  
  
Her cell phone interrupted her thoughts. She wanted to throw the phone out on the highway when she saw it was Toby, again. But she knew it was better to bite the bullet and tell him what had happened. At least, give it a try.  
  
"Toby," she said coldly.  
  
"CJ? How are you doing?"  
  
Out of Toby's concern in his voice, she understood that Carol had told him what had happened.  
  
"What do you think?" Her tone was sarcastic and angry.  
  
"I'm sorry about before." He was quiet for a while. "Is there anything I can do?"  
  
CJ closed her eyes and swallowed her anger, knowing that she couldn't stay mad at him long, especially not in a situation like this. "No, but thanks for asking."  
  
"CJ, come on. There has to be something I can do."  
  
She had an answer to that, but she could never ask him. Instead, she said, "No, there's nothing you can do, Toby." He was quiet for a few seconds, as if he wanted to ask something. "How are they?"  
  
CJ swallowed the lump in her throat before answering. "Michael and Karen are dead. Aaron and Miranda. they're alive but Aaron is not doing well."  
  
"Have you seen them yet?"  
  
"No, I'm on the way to the hospital. I just wish it wasn't such fucking traffic! It'll take me an hour before I get there."  
  
The driver turned around and smiled slightly. "Excuse me, ma'am, but we're here."  
  
CJ looked out and noticed that they were on the parking. "Toby, I got to go. We're here."  
  
"CJ."  
  
She didn't have time to listen to what he was going to say, before hanging up. She took her laptop and briefcase and stepped out of the cab. It was all she had time to pick up before jumping on the plane.  
  
A nurse showed her to a waiting room and soon a doctor came and joined her.  
  
"Ms. Cregg?" CJ nodded. "I'm Dr. Jason Lucas. We spoke earlier on the phone. I'm so sorry for your loss."  
  
"Thanks. How are Aaron and Miranda?"  
  
"Miranda is doing miraculously well, just a few bruises and a broken arm."  
  
"Thank God. And Aaron?"  
  
The doctor looked away for a short second. "I'm sorry, Ms. Cregg. We just lost him."  
  
TBC. 


	3. Part 3

For notes and disclaimers, see Part 1.  
  
  
  
  
  
Part 3  
  
Toby walked into Leo's office and didn't wait for Leo to notice him before talking.  
  
"CJ's in New York."  
  
Leo looked up from his papers. "New York? What the hell is she doing there?"  
  
"Her brother and family were in a car accident earlier this morning."  
  
"How are they?"  
  
Toby told Leo what CJ had told him on the phone just a couple of minutes ago.  
  
"Poor girl," Leo said quietly.  
  
Toby rolled on his heels and rubbed his forehead before looking at Leo. "Leo, listen, I need to. I need to go there. Now. I have to be there for her."  
  
Leo nodded. "Tell her I'm sorry and thinking of her, will you?"  
  
When Toby went back to get his briefcase and laptop he asked Ginger to check when the next flight to New York left. When he was in the garage to get his car she phoned her and told him the next flight left in two hours and she had booked him a ticket. Before he went to his apartment, he swung by CJ's and picked up a few things for her. When he had talked to Carol, she had told him that CJ had left for New York right from work. When he was done in her apartment, he just had time to rush to his own and get a few things for himself, before it was time to leave for the airport. Before he was going to step on the plane he called CJ, but she didn't answer. He just hoped she wouldn't mind if he came, unannounced.  
  
Toby went immediately to the hospital. He asked a nurse where he should go, but she couldn't tell him much, only that he had to go to the fourth floor. He took the elevator and began walking down the hallway. While he was walking, he looked inside the hospital-rooms through the blinds. He stopped when he saw CJ's back in one of the rooms. She saw sitting down next to a bed but he couldn't see who it was in the bed. He slowly entered the room, suddenly unsure of what he was going to do next. He took a few steps closer to the bed and could now see that it was Miranda in the bed.  
  
"CJ?" he said quietly.  
  
She quickly turned around and jumped out of the chair when she saw it was he. She smiled slightly and tears were beginning to form in her eyes.  
  
"Toby," she said almost inaudible. "I can't believe you're here."  
  
She started to cry and Toby took a step closer and embraced her.  
  
"Hey, you," he whispered softly in her hair.  
  
"I can't believe you're here," she said again and hugged him tighter.  
  
When she let go she had almost stopped crying. She sat down in the chair again and looked at Miranda.  
  
Toby pulled a chair next to hers and sat down on it. "How is she?" He nodded towards Miranda.  
  
"She's fine, Toby. Miraculously fine, the doctor said."  
  
"What about Aaron?" Tears began to form in CJ's eyes again and Toby gripped her hand.  
  
"They lost him just before I got here," she whispered softly.  
  
"Oh, CJ. I'm so sorry."  
  
She closed her eyes for a brief second and swallowed the lump in her throat. The doctor had told her that Miranda would wake up soon, and she needed to be strong for her.  
  
"Is there anything I can do?" Toby asked her and kissed her knuckles.  
  
She smiled slightly. "You being here is enough."  
  
TBC. 


	4. Part 4

For notes and disclaimers, see Part 1. Thanks for all your nice feedback! It makes me really happy. =)  
  
  
  
  
  
Part 4  
  
Toby had forced CJ to go and buy some coffee, so she would get out of the hospital-room for a while. After a couple of minutes persuading she finally left. Toby was starting to get worried for Miranda. It was past midnight and she still hadn't woken up. The doctor said it was normal but CJ's worriedness had gotten to Toby.  
  
Suddenly, the little girl began to move in the bed. Toby jumped up from his chair and bent over the bed. Slowly, she opened her eyes and looked at him. Toby wasn't sure if she would recognize him. It had been two years since their last meeting. Miranda starred at him for a couple of seconds and Toby felt very uncomfortable, not sure of what to do.  
  
"Hey, Toby," she said quietly.  
  
Toby smiled, relieved that she recognized him. "Hey Miranda," he whispered. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"My arm hurts. Why are you here? Where are mommy and daddy?"  
  
Toby was surprised over her calm. He took her hand for a brief second. "Miranda, honey, I'm going to get a doctor, okay?"  
  
"A doctor?"  
  
"Miranda!"  
  
Toby turned around and saw CJ hurrying towards the bed. Toby took a step back and CJ took Miranda's hand in hers.  
  
"Hey, sweetie."  
  
"Aunt CJ, why are you here?"  
  
CJ looked at Toby who nodded and left to get a doctor.  
  
"Miranda, do you remember anything?" The little girl shook her head slowly. "You, mommy, daddy and Aaron were in a car accident."  
  
"Where are they?"  
  
"Um, honey. they're not.," CJ closed her eyes and swallowed, not knowing how much she would understand.  
  
Fortunately, Miranda saved her. "Have they gone to heaven?"  
  
A single tear ran down CJ's cheek, and she nodded. "Yes, honey, they have gone to heaven."  
  
When the doctor checked on Miranda CJ and Toby waited out in the hallway.  
  
"What's going to happen to her, Toby? She has no one."  
  
Toby led CJ over to two chairs and they sat down. "You're forgetting someone. She has you."  
  
"Yeah, quite a catch, huh?" she growled sarcastically.  
  
"CJ, don't talk like that. You know that she adores you."  
  
CJ closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall.  
  
"I need to talk to the President," she whispered. "I have to resign."  
  
Toby gripped her hand. "Don't do that, CJ."  
  
She opened her eyes and looked angry at him. "Then what the hell am I going to do? I can't take care of a six year old while I'm working in the White House!"  
  
"CJ, look at me." She did. "Do you want to take care of Miranda?"  
  
CJ looked angry and she looked away. "What kind of questions is that? Toby, she has no one else. My parents can't take care of her, John and Michael haven't seen each other in ten years. John and his family aren't even coming to the funeral. Karen's closest family is a cousin in Europe, I think. I have to take care of her, Toby!"  
  
Toby sighed and rubbed his forehead. "CJ, listen to yourself. You can't take care of a girl you don't even want to take care of."  
  
"Toby, I didn't say that!"  
  
"You just said you *have* to take care of her."  
  
CJ raised and put her hands on her sides. "Damn it, Toby! I don't need you to be here and say stuff like that to me now!"  
  
Toby also raised and carefully put a hand on her shoulder but she brushed it away.  
  
"Just leave me alone for a second, okay?"  
  
Toby sat down looking after her as she was walking down the hallway.  
  
TBC. 


	5. Part 5

For notes and disclaimers, see Part 1.  
  
  
  
  
  
Part 5  
  
Toby looked at the time for the fifth time since he had gone back to Miranda's room. CJ still hadn't come back since they argued and he was starting to get worried.  
  
"Toby?"  
  
Toby turned from the window and saw Miranda starring at him. He slowly walked over to the bed.  
  
"Hey, sweetie. You should be sleeping."  
  
"I'm not tired."  
  
Toby sat down on a chair next to the bed.  
  
"Where's aunt CJ?"  
  
Toby sighed. "She went out for a walk. She needed some fresh air."  
  
"Toby, what's going to happen to me now? Who's going to take care of me?"  
  
Toby hadn't the answer to that question. He didn't know what to tell her. She had already lost her family earlier this day and now he was about to tell her that her closest relative didn't want to take care of her.  
  
"You should be sleeping, Miranda," someone said behind them.  
  
Toby turned around and CJ was walking slowly into the room.  
  
"I'm not tired, aunt CJ."  
  
CJ smiled slightly. "Please don't call me aunt CJ. It makes me sound old."  
  
Miranda smiled and giggled. CJ did as well, but suddenly she became serious.  
  
"Sweetie, I heard what you just asked Toby."  
  
Toby stretched and rose. "I'll go and wait outside. Goodnight, pumpkin." He kissed Miranda on the cheek before leaving.  
  
Miranda waved after him and CJ smiled at the scene. "I didn't think you'd remember Toby."  
  
"How could I forget? He's the best of your boyfriends."  
  
CJ smiled and shook her head. "Miranda, how many times do I have to tell you? Toby and I are only friends." She sat down on the chair and took her hand. "Miranda, do you want to move with me to Washington?"  
  
Miranda looked at first a bit terrified but then she smiled. "You mean, live with you?"  
  
"Yeah, if you want to. I have to warn you, though. I have no experience with kids and I can't cock, but I think we would make good roommates."  
  
Miranda smiled and nodded. "I'd like that, aunt CJ."  
  
"Okay, if you're going to move in with me you have to stop doing that."  
  
Miranda giggled mischievous, but then she looked serious. "Won't it be trouble? I mean, you suddenly having a kid. My dad said you have a very important job."  
  
CJ sighed and then she smiled. "Ah, it's not that important."  
  
Miranda looked content with the answer. She yawned and closed her eyes. "I'm going to sleep for a while."  
  
"Okay, sweetie. "I'll be just outside, okay?"  
  
Miranda nodded and it looked as if she was already sleeping.  
  
Toby was leaning against the wall right outside the room. CJ slowly walked over to him with her head down.  
  
"I want to apologize," she said quietly. "I shouldn't have yelled at you before and. I'm really thankful that you're here."  
  
She looked up at him and smiled when he saw him smiling slightly embarrassed.  
  
"So, what are you going to do?"  
  
"I have been thinking. Maybe I'm doing the wrong thing but I'm going to take care of her. She'll move with me to D.C."  
  
"That's great, CJ!" Toby said and hugged her. "Are you sure you want to do this?"  
  
She nodded slowly. "Yeah, you got me thinking. I really want to take care of her. I had given up the thought of having kids by now and I think I got a bit scared before. I'll probably be a lousy mother, but I'll do my best."  
  
"You know, I'll help you, right?"  
  
"Thanks," she whispered.  
  
Toby looked away for a short second and then back at her. He opened his mouth but closed it again. "Toby, what's the matter?"  
  
He looked away again and rubbed his forehead. "Are you sure you can do this? I mean, with the thing that.?"  
  
"Toby!" she said angrily. "That was such a long time ago. This is different. I thought you had gotten over it by now!"  
  
"Have you?" He asked softly?"  
  
She sighed and put up his hand as if to stop him. "Toby, don't go there. Not now. I need to get in touch with Leo somehow. Can you keep an eye on her?" She nodded towards the room Miranda was in, and Toby nodded.  
  
"Why do you need to talk to Leo?"  
  
"Toby, I'm going to have to resign."  
  
TBC. 


	6. Part 6

For notes and disclaimers, see Part 1.  
  
  
  
  
  
Part 6  
  
***** One Week Later ******  
  
CJ asked Toby to take Miranda to her office and stay with her there while she went to talk to the President.  
  
"CJ, you're back!" Jed said happily, when she entered the Oval Office.  
  
He walked over to her and put his hand on her shoulder. "I'm so sorry about what happened."  
  
"Thank you, sir. Listen, I need to talk to you."  
  
Jed motioned for her to sit down. "CJ, I've talked to Leo and I know what you're trying to do. CJ, I hope you realize I won't let you resign."  
  
"Mr. President, with all due respect, I can't stay here, as much as I want too. Things are changed now. I can't work 20 hours a day anymore."  
  
"CJ, I'm not stupid. After all, I am the President of the United States. I understand things are changed, but the truth is I can't afford to lose my press secretary, which is why you're going to get every help you need from me."  
  
"Mr. President."  
  
Jed raised a hand to stop her. "Just hear me out first, okay?" She nodded slowly. "You'll only take care of the most important things. The rest, Henry will take care of. We will set up a room for Miranda in the residence and you can have her in your office as much as you want to. From now on, you'll take all your meetings in the Roosevelt Room, Toby's office, in here, wherever. You'll have lots of assistants who will help you take care of Miranda and if that's not enough we'll hire a nanny."  
  
CJ sighed and closed her eyes, knowing that it would be heard to refuse this offer. "Mr. President, as thankful as I am, I don't want Miranda to grow up with a nanny. She needs safety now. She just lost her family and she needs stability. I can't shuffle her around to twenty different people."  
  
"CJ, it won't be twenty different people. It won't just be *people*. It'll be your friends who immediately will love Miranda. Come on, at least give it a try. I'll even let you keep your salary even though you won't have as much work as before."  
  
CJ couldn't help laughing. "Well, who could resist an offer like that? Okay, we'll try it, but if something goes wrong you have to promise me that you will accept my resignation."  
  
"CJ, are you ordering me to do something?" Jed asked and did his best to sound angry.  
  
"Sir. I didn't mean to. I just need you to understand that."  
  
"CJ, it's okay. I was just joking. About the ordering we'll see about that."  
  
"Sir!"  
  
"CJ, I can assure you, you will like this arrangement." He smiled softly. "So, when do I get to meet the beauty?" "I'll bring her by later today or tomorrow. She's with Toby now."  
  
"Then you better hurry off to save her."  
  
When CJ entered her office, she found Miranda sleeping in Toby's lap. Toby was leaning his head against the couch and his eyes were closed, so he didn't see her. She smiled and kicked him gently at the wrist. He opened his eyes and looked first at CJ then at Miranda and he blushed.  
  
"I wish I had my camera here," CJ said and grinned.  
  
"Yeah, you wish," Toby groaned. "What was I supposed to do? She was really sleepy and."  
  
CJ sat down on the couch and placer her finger on his lips to silence him. "Toby, you don't have to explain. I think it was really sweet of you. And I promise not to tell anyone."  
  
Toby blushed even more and decided to change subject. "How did it go with the President?"  
  
CJ smiled softly, while she was softly moving away Miranda's hair from her face. "Let's just say he gave me an offer I don't think I'm going to be able to resist."  
  
TBC. 


	7. Part 7

For notes and disclaimers, see Part 1.  
  
  
  
  
  
Part 7  
  
When CJ looked up she saw Toby leaning against the doorframe. "How long have you been standing there?"  
  
"A while," he said and took a few steps into her office. "Where's Miranda?"  
  
CJ smiled and walked over to him. "Believe it or not, she's in the Oval Office with the President."  
  
Toby rubbed his forehead, but couldn't help smiling. "That would be something for the Press Room. The President of the United States has so much spare time he can watch a six year old."  
  
"Toby!" CJ said in a warning tone. "I think it's sweet of him to look after her. He was going to read some memos and I was having a meeting, so he said she could be in his office doing her puzzles."  
  
Toby smiled and sat down in the couch. CJ soon joined him.  
  
"How's she doing?"  
  
"Miranda?" He nodded. "Surprisingly well, Toby. She talks about it a lot, the accident, Michael and Karen, Aaron. She's very open and she cries. She's very mature to be six years."  
  
Toby looked down. "And you? How are you doing?"  
  
CJ smiled, a bit surprised at the question. "I'm doing fine, Toby. Thanks for asking."  
  
"Don't do that, Ceej. Don't say it like it doesn't matter. All of a sudden you have to take care of a small kid and for all I know, you weren't that interesting in kids before."  
  
CJ quickly rose and walked over to her desk and leaned against it, crossing her arms over the chest. "Toby, is there something you want to talk to me about?"  
  
Toby slowly shook his head and avoided her eyes. "No. Why?"  
  
"Because this isn't the first time you're bringing this up and now I wonder if there's something you have to say to me!"  
  
"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I just." he trailed off and became quiet.  
  
CJ threw out her hands in frustration. "What do you want from me? An apology? Because if that's what you want, I apologized to you seventeen years ago even though you didn't deserve it!" Toby remained quiet and CJ walked over to him and looked down at him on the couch. "Damn it, Toby! Say something!" She paused and remembered her door wasn't closed. She quickly walked over to it and closed it, then turned back to Toby. "Sure, I'll admit it. Until this entire circus began, I was happy with just being the cool aunt and that was enough for me but now." She sighed and seemed to calm down. She walked over to the couch and sat down next to him and tried to search his eyes. "She's been with me for almost a month now and I really like it. I like feeling responsible for someone else and I like having someone depending on me, and only me."  
  
She took his hand in hers and held it tightly so he couldn't shake her off. "Toby, please look at me."  
  
Toby turned to look at her for a short moment before looking down again. "I can't, CJ, because when I look at you now, everything comes back. I remember everything, every fight, every argument, and all the words we said to each other. Words I wish I'll never say or hear again."  
  
CJ sighed and let go of his hand, knowing there was no point. "It wasn't just my decision, Toby. You have to put that behind you and let it go."  
  
He finally looked at her without turning away. "CJ, can you honestly tell me that you have? Have you gotten over it?" When she chose to look away and not answer, he continued. "Can you also, honestly tell me that you don't regret what you did?"  
  
She still didn't answer. Toby nodded slowly and rose.  
  
"Yeah, that's what I thought," he said quietly before leaving her office.  
  
TBC. 


	8. Part 8

For notes and disclaimers, see Part 1.  
  
  
  
  
  
Part 8  
  
Toby was looking at the screen to his laptop and frustrated pressed the buttons on the keyboard and the second after he erased it. He didn't know what to write, he couldn't find the right words. He had written almost a whole page when he came to the conclusion that every sentence sucked, and erased it.  
  
Ever since CJ had decided to take custody of Miranda Toby had done everything in his power to try to not bring up the past, but yesterday he couldn't stay quiet anymore. He just needed to get it out. He wasn't sure of what he wanted from her, or wanted her to say, but he wanted something. They hadn't talked to each other more than necessarily since the incident in her office yesterday morning. At morning staff, she had avoided to look at him and when she did, because Leo wanted to discuss something that they had taken care of last week, her eyes had been full with anger. He didn't regret his outburst, however, he did regret that he had hurt her. In a way, he had thought that it would feel better afterwards if he hurt her now, like she had hurt him then, but it didn't feel better. If anything, it felt worse.  
  
"Toby?"  
  
Toby looked up and saw Miranda sitting on his couch with her yellow bunny in her hand.  
  
"How long have you been sitting there, pumpkin?" He asked softly. He looked at the time and walked over to the couch. "It's seven o'clock. Shouldn't you be home sleeping now?"  
  
"I don't have to go to bed until eight o'clock. Sometimes eight thirty," Miranda said with a proud smile and Toby smiled back.  
  
"Where's your aunt?"  
  
"She's talking to someone on the phone. It was boring to wait for her so I left."  
  
"Did she say you could leave?"  
  
"She didn't notice," Miranda said with a mischievous smile.  
  
"Miranda! You shouldn't do that. Your aunt is probably worried sick looking for you."  
  
Toby looked out in the bullpen and sighed when he saw it was empty. That meant he would have to call CJ himself and tell her Miranda was safe.  
  
"Can you tell me a story?"  
  
"I'm no good at stories. I have to call CJ and tell her you're here."  
  
When he dialed the number to CJ's office, he looked at Miranda.  
  
"Toby, tell me a story!" she demanded.  
  
"Pumpkin, just wait for a second, okay?" He said and covered the mouthpiece and then he heard CJ on the other line. "Hey, it's me. Miranda's in my office. Five minutes? Yeah, okay."  
  
He hung up the phone and walked over to the couch and Miranda crawled up on his lap. She put one of her arms around his neck and played with his hair. The other hand held tightly in the yellow rabbit's ear.  
  
"A story?" he said quietly and he could feel her nodding against his chest. "Okay, we'll see what I can come up with." He thought for a few seconds before deciding to take something from his own life. "Once upon a time there was this young boy. Tom, who loved a very beautiful and amazing girl. Her name was Sarah and every boy who met her immediately fell in love with her. Tom was a very lucky boy because for some reason, who no one understood, Sarah chose him. They did everything together and Tom truly believed Sarah was the love of his life and that nothing would ever split them up. However, things between Tom and Sarah changed. They began screaming at each other and saying mean stuff that they didn't mean. One day Sarah did something that hurt Tom and he decided to leave."  
  
Miranda yawned and waited for him to continue the story. "How does it end?" She asked when he never did.  
  
Toby sighed and kissed her softly on the head. "I don't know pumpkin. I don't know."  
  
TBC. 


	9. Part 9

For notes and disclaimers, see Part 1.  
  
  
  
  
  
Part 9  
  
A week after their fight in CJ's office they slowly began to find their way back to each other again. They didn't talk about what had happened, instead they often talked about Miranda and how she was doing.  
  
One night CJ had to go by Toby's office to drop off some memos. She had Miranda's hand in one of hers and in the other the memos. She quietly tapped her fingertips against the doorframe.  
  
"Hey," he said softly when he saw them. "What's up?"  
  
CJ walked over to his desk and dropped the memos on it. "Are you going to be late tonight?"  
  
"Yeah, I have to finish this and you just gave me more work."  
  
CJ nodded and turned around and saw Miranda on the couch. "Honey, we're going home now."  
  
"I don't want to, CJ", she whined. "It's so much fun in Toby office."  
  
CJ raised an eyebrow. "It's fun to see Toby work?"  
  
Miranda nodded with a huge smile.  
  
"Okay, come on now sweetie," CJ held out her hand and Miranda jumped down from the couch and took it.  
  
When they were almost out in the bullpen Miranda turned around.  
  
"Can't he come with us, then?"  
  
"Miranda, leave him alone now. He has work to do."  
  
Miranda looked so sad after CJ had finished that sentence, she looked for help at Toby. He walked over to them and picked Miranda up.  
  
"You know, CJ's right. I have a lot to do tonight."  
  
Miranda didn't answer. Instead she put her arm around his neck and buried her face on his shoulder. CJ turned to Toby with begging eyes.  
  
"Toby, would you please join us for dinner tonight?"  
  
"CJ.," Toby whined.  
  
"Come on, Toby. When was the last time you got out of here before eight? Please?"  
  
Toby nodded slowly, knowing there was no point in even trying to say no to his favorite-girls.  
  
Half an hour later they were sitting in the living room eating take out. Miranda was sitting on the floor watching a cartoon movie. CJ was sitting in the couch watching the TV, Miranda and Toby. Toby was also sitting in the couch reading papers and seemed totally unaware of what was going on around him. When he noticed that CJ was looking, practically starring at him, he looked up and smiled slightly.  
  
"What?" He asked.  
  
"Nothing," she whispered. "Maybe someone tries to punish me."  
  
He put away his papers and looked worried at her. "Ceej, what are you talking about?"  
  
She threw out her hand and gestured at first Miranda, then at him. "Look at this, Toby! Maybe someone, up there or down there, wants to show me what I could have had."  
  
Toby sighed and took her hand in his. "Don't say that."  
  
"Toby, I am sorry, I really am. I finally realized what I did to you and it hurts me to know how much I've hurt you, and I'm so sorry."  
  
Toby was about to answer when he felt Miranda climbing up on his lap. She leaned her head against his chest and closed her eyes.  
  
"Tired?" CJ asked and Miranda nodded. "Come on, let's put you to bed."  
  
Miranda shook her head. "No, I want to hear the rest of Toby' story."  
  
Toby blushed and CJ became curious. "What story?" She asked and smiled.  
  
"It's nothing," Toby said. "Miranda, I've already told you the whole story," "Not the end."  
  
"Well, I will. Some other time, okay? But now CJ's going to put you in bed and I have to go home."  
  
Surprisingly, Miranda didn't protest. She let CJ pick her up and waved to Toby when he was putting on his coat before leaving.  
  
TBC. 


	10. Part 10

For notes and disclaimers, see Part 1.  
  
  
  
  
  
Part 10  
  
Toby and Sam were sitting the mess, looking through the speech for tonight's state dinner.  
  
"I like this part, "Toby said.  
  
"Thanks," Sam said and smiled. "Do you think it's going to be a fun party?"  
  
"It's not a party. It's a state dinner," Toby groaned.  
  
"Okay. So, you think the dinner's going to be fun?"  
  
Toby tapped his fingertips against his forehead. "What do I usually think of these kind of things?"  
  
Sam was quiet for a while, before smiling. "Do you think Miranda's coming?"  
  
Toby glared at Sam. "She's six years old, the dinner will begin at seven, which is exactly one hour before she needs to be in bed, so a wild guess, no."  
  
"Wow, you seem to know a lot about Miranda and her routines."  
  
Toby blushed and decided it was time to change subject. "Let's look it over again."  
  
Sam groaned. "Toby, we've been here for an hour. We're going to look through the same speech for the sixth time and I can guarantee you no changes will be made."  
  
Sam glared at him and Toby looked down on his papers, silently reading the speech to himself.  
  
"Hey, guys."  
  
Sam turned around and Toby raised his head, even though he would recognize that voice anywhere, anytime. She grabbed a chair and sat down next to Sam.  
  
"Is Miranda coming tonight?" Sam asked.  
  
CJ smiled and slowly nodded to Toby's surprise.  
  
"Don't ask me why, but for some reason the President invited both of us. I'll only let her be there for an hour, though, tops. She needs to be in bed before eight."  
  
Sam grinned hugely at Toby who kicked his chin under the table.  
  
"Oww!"  
  
"What's going on?" CJ asked and looked curiously at them.  
  
"Nothing," Toby said quickly. "So, is she excited about tonight?"  
  
CJ nodded. "Yeah, I'm going to pick her up in thirty minutes and take her out to buy her a new dress."  
  
Sam's beeper suddenly beeped and he excused himself. Toby turned his attention back to the speech feeling CJ's eyes study him. She leaned back on the chair and then she leaned her elbows on the table. Toby looked up and smiled content.  
  
"What?" He asked and did his best to sound irritated.  
  
"Last night, when I was going to put Miranda to bed after you left, I asked her to tell me the story you told her."  
  
Toby looked back at his papers and tried sound as if he didn't care when he answered. "You did, did you?"  
  
"Umhum," she nodded and suddenly she rose. She left her fingertips on the table tapping almost silently against it. "You know, I didn't have an ending for her either."  
  
She smiled softly, a sad and maybe a disappointed smiled, before leaving.  
  
TBC. 


	11. Part 11

For notes and disclaimers, see part 1. I just wanted to say thank you for all the nice feedback you guys have given me! And I also got to know that some don't see that my e-mail has double underscores. So, it's Jee__Sun@hotmail.com with two of these in between ( _ ). Anyway, I hope you enjoy this part. And I also wanted to say if anyone want to put my fics on a website that's fine with me. Just let me now, please. Thanks!  
  
  
  
  
  
Part 11  
  
At the state dinner Toby was placed with Sam, four congress members Senator Forsythe and his wife. The only positive thing about the seating arraignment was that he didn't have to say much. Senator Forsythe and congressmen Piedersen and Albright discussed minimum weigh. Sam sometimes joined in. Toby soon stopped caring about what the others discussed and looked around over at CJ's table. She was sitting with Miranda, Josh, the President and two senators with their wives. Miranda smiled happily at all the attention she got, but she also looked a bit shy and withdrawn. When she caught eye on Toby two tables away she waved frenetically. Toby discreetly waved back but it didn't go unnoticed by a smiling Sam. Toby could see Miranda whispering something to CJ, who smiled and glanced over at him before nodding. A few seconds later Toby lifted Miranda up on his lap.  
  
"Hey, pumpkin," he whispered, not wanting anyone else to hear, but unfortunately Miranda had all attention now. Everybody around the table smiled friendly at her, which made her blush and bury her head on Toby's shoulder.  
  
"What are you doing over here?" He asked her quietly.  
  
"My table wasn't funny and I missed you."  
  
"You are aware of that you're talking about the President's table, right?"  
  
"Still wasn't funny," Miranda stated and Toby smiled.  
  
"Okay, let me introduce you to these people around the table."  
  
Miranda slowly turned around and Toby pointed at each one around the table, saying their names. Miranda got all the attention after that. The senator and his wife asked her about everything, except her family. Everybody knew that she had lost them in a car accident. They had all read about it in the papers when CJ came back from New York and decided to take care of her.  
  
Toby excused himself when he saw that CJ was walking over towards them. He was still carrying Miranda when he met her halfway.  
  
"She has to go to bed now," CJ said and smiled, patting Miranda's back.  
  
"Yeah, she's pretty tired, I think", Toby said and smiled.  
  
Miranda was practically already sleeping.  
  
CJ sighed and held out her arms. "Okay, give her to me."  
  
"No, she'll just wake up. I'll take her to the residence."  
  
CJ nodded and quietly followed him towards the residence.  
  
The President had kept his promise. He had decorated a room for Miranda in the residence. She had everything she wanted in there, even though it was unnecessary, since she practically just used the room for sleeping. CJ also had a bed in there so she could stay over.  
  
Toby carefully put Miranda down in her bed and tucked her in. He kissed her on the forehead and then took a step back so CJ could say her goodnights.  
  
"Come on, CJ." Toby put his hand on her shoulder. "The nanny is right outside."  
  
"I don't want to leave anyway. Do we have to go back?"  
  
Toby smiled slightly. "Believe me, there's nothing I'd rather do than sit and just watch our little angel but."  
  
He looked down and cleared his throat when he realized what he just said. He could feel his cheeks burning, luckily his beard and the dark hid it. Not so luckily, it was CJ he was with, CJ who knew him better than anyone else. She turned to him and placed her hand on his cheek.  
  
"Toby," she whispered.  
  
He just shook his head and refused to look up. "I'm sorry. Let's just forget about it, okay?"  
  
She slowly nodded and whispered, "Okay."  
  
Tbc. 


	12. Part 12

For notes and disclaimers, please see part 1.  
  
  
  
  
  
Part 12  
  
CJ was waiting in the hallway with her briefcase in one hand and in the other Miranda's backpack.  
  
"Miranda!" she yelled for the fifth time in two minutes. "We're going to be late!"  
  
She forced herself to smile slightly when she saw Miranda walking towards her.  
  
"I can't find my yellow bunny", Miranda said and her lip shivered.  
  
CJ looked at the time and sighed. "Do you have to bring the bunny with you? I bet no other kid brings stuffed animals to school."  
  
She immediately regretted what she had said when she saw that tears were beginning to form in Miranda's eyes, but then it was already too late.  
  
She sighed and tapped her forehead, obviously irritated. "Have you looked everywhere?"  
  
Miranda nodded slowly without looking up at her aunt.  
  
"Honey, if you've looked everywhere and you haven't found it it's probably gone." She paused briefly. "Listen, we really have to go now." When Miranda didn't move CJ became irritated. "Come on!"  
  
Miranda slowly walked towards her and took her backpack that CJ held out for her.  
  
"You know, Miranda, you have to remember where you put your things." CJ sighed once more before shuffling Miranda out of the apartment in front of her, totally oblivious that Miranda was silently crying.  
  
* * * * *  
  
CJ tried to concentrate on the facts Carol had given her on Egypt, but it was hard with Miranda playing on her office-floor. She looked up and tapped her pen against the desk. Then she looked down at her papers again and did a last effort to try to concentrate, but she couldn't. She rose quickly and leaned her hands against the desk.  
  
"Miranda!" She said loudly. "Must you play in here? And if you have to play can you please do so quietly?"  
  
Miranda looked up at her for a brief second before looking at her dolls again. She silently began playing with them again and without knowing how, she soon began talking and laughing loudly to herself. This time she didn't get a warning. She just heard CJ coming closer behind her and when she looked back at her dolls they were gone. She rose and looked at CJ behind the desk.  
  
CJ sighed frustrated and held up the dolls. "Didn't I just say, please play quietly?" She opened a drawer and put the dolls in it. Then she sat down in her chair.  
  
"Can I please go to Toby?" Miranda whispered.  
  
CJ just waved with her hand, busy with her papers, and Miranda took that as a yes. Quietly she left the office. Miranda had quickly learned the way to Toby's office. She didn't notice that when she walked through the hallways, people were starring confused at her. When she reached the Communications Bullpen it was full of people running around and no one seemed to notice her. She walked towards Toby's office and noticed that Toby wasn't alone. Sam and Josh were sitting on his couch and Toby paced the room nervously, tapping his left hand on his forehead.  
  
"What do we tell the press?" Josh asked.  
  
Toby sighed. "Tell them we have everything under control."  
  
"Shouldn't CJ be here for this?" Sam suddenly said.  
  
"I'm going over to her," Josh said. "She said she needed to stay with Miranda."  
  
Toby walked over to his desk and leaned against it. Then he noticed Miranda in the door and he immediately walked over to her and picked her up. He didn't notice Josh and Sam looking amused at each other.  
  
"Hey pumpkin," he said quietly. "What are you doing here?"  
  
Miranda put her arm around his neck and leaned her head against his shoulder. "Aunt CJ just yelled at me," she whispered.  
  
Toby looked serious at her. Then he turned to Sam and Josh.  
  
"Josh, can you please go and tell CJ what we just discussed and also tell her Miranda is with me. Sam, you start work on the President's first words after a possible attack."  
  
Sam and Josh nodded and left without another word. Toby closed the door and then walked over to the couch and sat down on it with Miranda in his lap. He lifted her up and turned her so that she was facing him.  
  
"Why was CJ yelling at you?"  
  
"I think I disturbed her when she was working," she whispered. "I was playing with my dolls and. She took them."  
  
Toby tucked her hair behind her ears and smiled softly. "She was just busy. You see, we have this situation in Egypt and we all have a lot to do."  
  
"But you aren't yelling at me," Miranda interrupted.  
  
"That's true," Toby said quietly.  
  
Miranda leaned her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes. "I don't think aunt CJ likes me very much."  
  
Toby didn't know what to say. He would never admit it to anyone but since CJ decided to take care of Miranda, he had silently wondered why she did it, if it was because of guilt or because she really loved Miranda.  
  
He kissed Miranda on the head and held her tighter.  
  
TBC. 


	13. Part 13

For notes and disclaimers, please see part 1.  
  
  
  
Part 13  
  
Ginger stuck in her head in Toby's office. "CJ called and asked if you had time to watch Miranda for an hour. Two at the most."  
  
"What do I have?"  
  
"Nothing until 4 p.m. which makes you free for the next three hours. So, that's a yes?"  
  
Toby nodded and Ginger left. He was worried about Miranda and the way CJ treated her. He didn't know how to bring this up with CJ yet, but he knew he had to, soon. Now, he took every chance to spend time with Miranda. He just wanted her to feel loved, something he was unsure she felt with CJ.  
  
"Toby?"  
  
Toby looked up and saw Sam walking towards him.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I was thinking of the press conference the President's going to hold tomorrow for the victims in Egypt and what he should open with." He paused briefly. "Toby, I can't come up with anything good." He looked beat and fell down in a chair.  
  
"I don't believe that," Toby said quickly. "Listen, in two hours I want to have it on my desk and if there's something I don't like about it, you know I'll tell you."  
  
Sam sighed. "It's just so hard, Toby. Maybe the President should write it himself."  
  
"Maybe," Toby nodded. "But we're at least going to give him a draft."  
  
Sam nodded and turned when he heard a familiar voice calling his name. He immediately looked happier and picked up Miranda. "Hey, sweetie! What brings you here?"  
  
"I'm going to be with Toby!" Miranda said and smiled. "Fun, huh?"  
  
Sam looked a bit surprised but then turned to Toby with a huge grin. "Yeah, I believe so."  
  
"Get out," Toby said in his normal voice.  
  
"Aww, come on! I think it's cute!" Sam pouted.  
  
"Sam, a draft in two hours. On my desk."  
  
Sam nodded and looked serious for a while but in the door he turned and grinned again. Toby walked over to the couch and sat down next to Miranda who immediately leaned against him.  
  
He bent down to kiss her on the forehead. "Hey pumpkin."  
  
Toby looked at the toys she took out of her backpack.  
  
"Hey, where's your yellow bunny?"  
  
Miranda looked down. "I lost him. He's been gone for almost a week. I was looking after him when we were going to school. I looked everywhere but I couldn't find him. And CJ kept screaming that it was time to go. I looked after him when I got home too, but he's gone."  
  
Toby lifted her up on his lap and smiled gently at her. "Do you want to go to a toy store and buy another. another one of those.?" He put up his hand in the air and waved around with it in search for the right word. "Stuffed animals?"  
  
Miranda smiled brightly and nodded.  
  
"Okay, let's go."  
  
Toby wasn't sure where the toy stores was so he had to ask an amused Ginger before he left with Miranda. When they were in the toy store he couldn't help buying her everything she wanted. Miranda was looking at the dolls when Toby's cell phone rang.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Toby, it's 3.30," Ginger said. "You do remember your meeting at 4, right?"  
  
"Damn it! Just keep him busy or something before I get there."  
  
He hung up the phone and looked over at Miranda. He almost hadn't heart to tell her they had to leave.  
  
They made it exactly back in time. Bonnie was waiting for them in the lobby. She took care of Miranda and the paper bags with stuffed animals, dolls and other toys. She looked amused at Toby.  
  
"What?" He asked a bit annoyed.  
  
Bonnie smiled and shook her head. "Nothing. He's waiting for you in your office. I'll take Miranda to CJ's office."  
  
Toby nodded and waved discreetly at Miranda before hurrying off to his office.  
  
Tbc. 


	14. Part 14

A/N: I'm so sorry it has taken so long for me to post. For other notes and disclaimers, see part 1. I also would like to thank for all the kind reviews.  
  
  
  
  
  
Part 14  
  
  
  
Carol knocked on the doorframe and stepped into CJ's office. She was sitting behind her desk, typing furiously and Miranda was on the floor playing. Carol was a bit surprised at how silent Miranda was playing. She always was running around the office with her toys shouting. And if she wasn't, she at least used to have lively conversations with them.  
  
  
  
"CJ, it's almost seven. Shouldn't you be leaving?"  
  
  
  
CJ nodded but Carol wasn't sure she had heard her.  
  
  
  
"CJ?"  
  
  
  
She finally looked up and it seemed as if it was first now that she noticed Carol was there.  
  
  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
  
  
"It's seven," Carol repeated.  
  
  
  
CJ looked at her for a short moment before standing and leaning over her desk to look at Miranda. "Damn it," she said quietly. "I did it again, huh?"  
  
  
  
"Has she eaten yet?" Carol asked and CJ shook her head. "I'll go down to the mess and see if I can find anything for her."  
  
  
  
CJ nodded avoiding her eyes. She sighed and rubbed her forehead. Then she walked around her desk and sat down next to Miranda on the floor.  
  
  
  
"Hey sweetie," she whispered but Miranda didn't answer. "Miranda, honey, I'm so sorry." Miranda still didn't answer and it was now CJ noticed all her new toys spread around at the floor. "Miranda? What's this? Where did you get all these toys from?"  
  
  
  
This time Miranda looked up and smiled proudly. "Toby gave them to me," Miranda said and continued playing.  
  
CJ didn't know why but she felt how she got angrier and angrier and when Carol came back with food for Miranda she had to try really hard to stay calm.  
  
  
  
"Carol, can you watch Miranda while I go and talk to Toby?"  
  
  
  
Without waiting for her assistant to answer she walked towards the communications bullpen. The light was on in Toby's office and when she entered she noticed that Sam and Josh were also there.  
  
  
  
"Hey, CJ!" Josh said happily. "What's up?"  
  
  
  
"Um, Josh, Sam, could you please leave me and Toby alone for a few minutes?" She said looking furiously at Toby.  
  
  
  
Josh and Sam looked at her, then at each other, then at Toby who all the time looked at CJ who of course looked back.  
  
  
  
"Sure," Sam said. "Toby, we'll wait for you in my office."  
  
  
  
"No," CJ said. "Wait in Josh's office."  
  
  
  
Josh and Sam looked at each other as they were leaving Toby's office.  
  
  
  
"There's definitely going to be yelling in there," Josh said.  
  
  
  
Toby and CJ just starred at each other for a while. CJ's eyes were furious while Toby's were calm.  
  
  
  
"CJ, what can I do for you?"  
  
  
  
She walked closer to his desk and leaned her hands against it so she was looking down at him. "Toby, what exactly are you trying to do?" Without waiting for his answer she continued. "I asked you to watch her for two hours, tops, and you buy her a toy store!"  
  
Toby rose, still surprisingly calm. He almost seemed a bit tired. "CJ, all I did was giving her some gifts. She was sad about losing her yellow bunny and."  
  
CJ threw up her hands in the air with a frustrated yell. "That damn bunny! Toby, she lost it herself! If you buy her something new every time she loses anything she'll never learn to look after her things!"  
  
"CJ, the kid is six years old. She just lost her family and I was just trying to be nice." Toby sighed, knowing he probably would have an outburst soon.  
  
"Nice? Yeah, Toby' you're right. You've been so nice lately I've had it up to here!" She held up her hand to show her point.  
  
"Well, you know what Ceej? I've had it up to here with you too!" Toby who finally had gotten tired of CJ yelling at him, shouted.  
  
She took a step back and looked a bit shaken of how he had pronounced her name. It was a long time ago since she had heard it the last time.  
  
"Look at yourself, CJ! You're hurting her! You're screaming at her all the time. In your eyes she can't do anything right"  
  
"That's not true! Take that back!" CJ yelled. "Just because you've been spending a lot of time with her lately doesn't mean you know how she feels and how I treat her!"  
  
Toby's arms flew out to his side. "Why do you think she comes to me?"  
  
CJ's eyes became smaller and she had never been so close to slapping him as now. Instead, she took a deep breath to calm herself. She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him.  
  
"And you like every minute of it," she said quietly.  
  
That was true but Toby suspected she didn't mean that in a nice way.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
CJ smiled slightly, a bit patronizing. "Toby, you're telling me that I should look at myself. Before you start giving me orders, please take a look at yourself. Ever since we came back from New York you've been running after Miranda like you were her tail, you've done everything she wants you too and today you bought her an entire toy-store! Don't you think I know what you're trying to do? You're trying to make me look bad in front of others and in front of Miranda while you're making you the perfect adult that she can run to every time mean aunt CJ tells her to stop being noisy!" She paused for a while and looked at Toby as if she wanted him to say something. When he didn't, she continued. "You are still mad at me for what I did to you all those years ago and now, in some sick way, you want to get back at me, huh? Is that how it is?" Toby didn't answer, he just glared at her. This time, when she continued, her tone was softer, almost a bit patronizing. "Toby, you need to stop living in the past. That was such a long time ago and you're still thinking about it all the time. Now you think you've got a second chance with Miranda, but fact is that Miranda isn't yours. As much as you want her to be she isn't and she never will be. And as much as you're trying to be the good father you will never become one, at least not to her. You think that being nice to Miranda makes us go back in time. You're imagining that she is your daughter and that I never did that abortion and that we're just one big happy family! Toby, I think you're pathetic."  
  
When she stopped for air she realized what she just said. Toby looked at her for a short moment before slumping down in his chair. It looked like someone just had stabbed him. He avoided looking at her. When she saw how much she had hurt him, she immediately regretted it. She realized that even though she had stopped herself from slapping him earlier, she in a way just did.  
  
"Toby," she said quietly.  
  
"Leave me alone."  
  
She knew there was no point in staying so she left without another word, knowing that once again she had hurt him.  
  
TBC. 


	15. Part 15

For notes and disclaimers, see part 1.  
  
  
  
  
  
Part 15  
  
"So, what's happening today?" Leo asked and looked at the senior staff gathered in his office.  
  
No one answered and Leo could definitely feel the tension in the room. Toby refused to look at anyone and looked like he had a hell of a hangover. CJ looked down on her notes but Leo could tell something was bothering her. Josh and Sam looked at Toby and CJ, then at each other as if to give each other an answer of what was going on.  
  
Leo sighed. "Okay, what's the matter? We have things to do today, you know?" Still no answer. "Josh, Sam, CJ, come back in five minutes."  
  
Without a word they did as Leo had told them. When the door was closed Leo tried do get Toby to look at him. When he didn't he sighed.  
  
"Toby, I don't know what's the matter with you today, or anyone else for that matter, but remember that you work in the White House for the President of the United States."  
  
Toby looked up at him and Leo almost took a step back.  
  
"Damn it, Toby! You look like shit."  
  
"Thank you," Toby said sarcastically.  
  
"Sorry, but have you slept anything?"  
  
Toby didn't answer, just glared at him.  
  
"Toby, if you need to go home do so, but if you're here then you have to do your job. Okay?"  
  
Before Toby answered there was a knock on the door and Josh stuck in his head.  
  
"Sorry, Leo, but if we're going to have staff this morning we have to continue now. I and Sam have to go the Hill in ten minutes."  
  
Leo looked at Toby who nodded his okay.  
  
"Its okay, guys."  
  
Sam and Josh quickly walked back to their old seats with CJ slowly coming after them. Leo did a mental note to check if she was okay later.  
  
"Okay, Sam, Josh, the Hill?"  
  
"Yeah, we'll probably be there until lunch, if not later," Josh said.  
  
"Okay, but I count on you two to take this home. Got it?"  
  
Both Josh and Sam nodded. Leo turned to CJ.  
  
"CJ, what do you have today?"  
  
"Not that much," she said quietly and Leo noticed that she as well looked like hell. "Henry will take care of the afternoon briefing. I have a meeting before lunch. Don't really know what it's about, but."  
  
"Okay," Leo said. "And Toby?"  
  
Toby just shook his head. "I'm going to write a first draft for tomorrow."  
  
"Okay, if everything goes well with that, can't you help CJ with the meeting she doesn't know what it's about?" Toby looked at him before slowly nodding.  
  
"You know the two of you look like hell today. Maybe I should send you both to a health center or a romantic weekend together." He laughed but stopped when he realized no one else did and the awkwardness that spread around the room. "Oh, come on! Okay, get out!"  
  
Sam and Josh quickly left and Toby also walked in quick pace towards his office. CJ followed him and when she caught up with him he didn't even turn to look at her.  
  
"About the meeting," she said. "I can take care of that by myself."  
  
They were right outside his office now and he turned to her but avoided her eyes.  
  
"Good," he said quietly. "Because now I can't even stand looking at you."  
  
He walked into his office and closed the door right in front of her face. CJ closed her eyes and leaned against the door for a short moment before noticing Ginger and Bonnie starring at her.  
  
"What's up with Toby today?" Ginger asked slowly.  
  
CJ shook her head and even managed to smile a little. "Just give him some space, okay?"  
  
CJ returned to her office to prepare her morning briefing. The only problem was that she couldn't concentrate. She hated herself, hated herself for what she said to him last night, hated herself for once again hurting him, hated herself for being the reason he had been drinking all night, hated herself for being the reason he looked like shit in staff this morning. But mostly she hated herself for realizing that she had been wrong, all the time, and now she wanted it back.  
  
TBC. 


	16. Part 16

For notes and disclaimers, see part 1.  
  
  
  
  
  
Part 16  
  
"Miranda, please eat up your dinner," CJ said and sighed.  
  
Miranda leaned back in the chair, crossed her arms over her chest and simply shook her head.  
  
"Honey, I thought this was your favorite. I made it especially for you and you did say you were hungry."  
  
Miranda didn't answer.  
  
"Damn it, Miranda! Eat up your food!"  
  
Miranda looked at CJ for a short moment. Then she looked down and CJ noticed that her lower lip was starting to shiver.  
  
CJ leaned her elbows against the table and leaned her head against her hands. "Damn it," she whispered and looked up. "Miranda, honey, I'm so sorry."  
  
She tried to reach her hand over the table but Miranda pulled away. Instead she stuck out her tongue and left the table. Normally, CJ would never tolerate if someone stuck out her tongue to her, but now, everything was so weird and everything felt like shit, so she didn't care.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"He's been here all week. This is the fifth night in a row," the bartender told Josh and gave him his beer.  
  
Josh thanked him and slowly approached Toby at the end of the counter. "Hey Toby. How are you doing?"  
  
Toby didn't answer. Instead he lit a cigarette.  
  
"Listen, the bartender told me you've been here all week after work. No wonder you've looked the way you have."  
  
"If you're trying to cheer me up, you're not doing a very good job," Toby said quietly. "How did you know I was here?"  
  
"Sam told me," Josh said after a pause.  
  
Toby laughed a little, a sarcastic laugh. "And why did Sam send you? He's that afraid of me?"  
  
"Toby, he's not afraid of you. He respects and looks up to you. He doesn't want to see his role model and friend act like this," he paused for a short moment before continuing, "and neither do I."  
  
"Yet, here you are, sitting right next to me."  
  
Josh was quiet. He didn't know how to reach him.  
  
"Has something happened?" He tried after a while.  
  
"You could say so," he murmured and lit another cigarette. "Want one?" Josh shook his head.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
One glare from Toby gave Josh the answer. Josh nodded before finishing his beer.  
  
"Okay, if you ever need to talk you know where to find me." He rose and placed his hand briefly on Toby's shoulder before leaving. "Keep an eye on him," he told the bartender when he passed him.  
  
* * * * *  
  
CJ didn't know what to do. She had been standing outside Miranda's room for nearly thirty minutes now and she refused to let her in. She didn't understand how Miranda could have found the key to that room.  
  
"Miranda, please come out! I'm so sorry I yelled at you. Miranda?"  
  
She hadn't answered once since CJ had begun asking for her. She leaned against the door and slid down against it to the floor. On the floor she put her hands over her face and silently began to cry. What had she been thinking in New York? She could never make this. She wasn't meant to have kids. Maybe she was one time, but she blew that. She heard the door click and when she felt it move behind her she quickly turned and stood on her knees. She looked at Miranda who stood with her new favorite stuffed animal in her hand, a purple bear. CJ wiped away her tears and looked at Miranda.  
  
"Sweetie, I'm so sorry. I just. I can't do this. I'm sorry."  
  
Miranda looked sad at CJ. Then she patted her gently on the cheek and smiled slightly before stepping into CJ's embrace. CJ held her tightly and kissed her on the head.  
  
"I'm sorry, honey. I'm sorry for everything. I should never have taken care of you in first place. I should have realized this would happen."  
  
"Don't say that," Miranda said quietly. "I like you a lot and you've done a great job. It's just. maybe you need someone's help."  
  
CJ looked at her and now Miranda was smiling mischievous, which made CJ close her eyes and sigh.  
  
"Honey, I want nothing more, but that's never going to happen and the sooner you realize that the better."  
  
TBC. 


	17. Part 17

A/N: I've changed this part. I didn't mean to post the other one so I apologize about that. I just decided I had used car accidents a bit too much. Again, I'm sorry. For other notes and disclaimers, please see part 1.  
  
  
  
Part 17  
  
"CJ, calm down. I'll take care of her."  
  
CJ looked at Jenny and smiled. "I'm sorry. It's just me being silly. She likes you and you've watched her many times so I have nothing to worry about, huh?"  
  
Jenny laughed. "You don't. Listen, have a good time at the fundraiser tonight, okay?"  
  
CJ smiled and bent down to kiss Miranda on the cheek. "I'll come in to you when I come home and tuck you in, okay?" Miranda kissed her and smiled. "And, I'll also talk to Toby tonight and see if you can stay with him sometime, okay?"  
  
That made Miranda smile hugely and hug CJ tightly.  
  
"Okay, here's money if you want to go and rent a movie or something," CJ said and handed over a fifty to Jenny.  
  
"CJ, I don't think we'll be renting movies for this much."  
  
CJ smiled. "Just in case. Okay, see you later. Be a good girl now, honey."  
  
She bent down to kiss her again and then she left.  
  
* * * * *  
  
CJ had her best fake smile on when she was dancing for the fifth time with another member of congress who should know where to keep his hands. She saw Sam talking to someone across the floor. She gave him the signal and the next second he was walking towards her.  
  
"Excuse me, sir, but I need CJ for a while," Sam said to the older man who seemed irritated but let go of her.  
  
"Thank you," CJ whispered when she was walking next to Sam away from the dance floor. "I hate these fundraiser-things."  
  
Sam laughed. "No, you don't. That's Toby, remember?"  
  
CJ forced on a smile. "Where is Toby by the way? I haven't seen him all night."  
  
Sam looked down and his smile disappeared. "Probably at the bar."  
  
CJ looked surprised even though she knew this was exactly what she should have suspected. "What? Why?"  
  
Sam shrugged. "No one knows, CJ. He's been like that for almost two weeks now. No one knows how to reach him. We were actually kind of hoping you would notice and take care of it. But when you didn't no one wanted to say anything considering you have Miranda to think about."  
  
CJ smiled and squeezed Sam's arm. "Thank you, Sam. I'll go and talk to him."  
  
CJ nervously and slowly approached the bar. She stood behind him for a few seconds, not sure of what to do. Several times she opened her mouth but then closed it again.  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
His sudden voice made her jump back and she put a hand over her mouth to not scream out loud. Then she took a step closer and sat down on the stool next to him.  
  
"How are you?" She asked quietly.  
  
He sipped his scotch and avoided looking at her. "I'm doing fine, thank you. You?"  
  
"Toby.," CJ said quietly, almost begging.  
  
"What?" He snapped and suddenly turned to her.  
  
CJ had wanted him to look at her, but now when she met his eyes she had to look away. She didn't have to ask anything more, everything was written clearly in his eyes. He was still hurt and upset about what she had said two weeks ago and he still couldn't stand looking at her.  
  
"Miranda has been asking for you everyday," she said instead.  
  
She almost saw Toby smile for a short while and his eyes become brighter. But just as fast as it had appeared, it disappeared.  
  
"I was wondering if. maybe you would like to watch her some day? Maybe she could spend the night. I know she would want that."  
  
"As much as I want to, I'm not her father, remember?"  
  
"Toby.," she begun and raised a hand to place it on his shoulder but changed her mind. "I'm sorry for what I said. I really am. I was just."  
  
"CJ!"  
  
CJ turned around and saw Carol quickly walking towards her.  
  
"Carol, what are you doing here? Are there any problems with the press?"  
  
"Phone call," Carol said and held up her cell.  
  
CJ looked uncomfortable at her, then at Toby who wasn't paying them any attention. "Can't it wait?"  
  
"CJ, its Jenny."  
  
It was something in Carol's voice that made her sense that something really bad was happening. She took the phone from Carol.  
  
"Jenny?" She said almost in panic, which made Toby pay attention, but still not turning around. "Jenny, calm down. What? Is she okay?"  
  
CJ was raising her voice and Toby turned around. Without reflecting on it he placed his hand on her shoulder to let her know he was there for her. CJ turned to him while she was listening on the phone. She closed her eyes and bit her lower lip.  
  
"Okay," she whispered. "Jenny, just calm down. I'm on my way."  
  
She hung up the phone and looked up to find Carol, Josh and Sam in front of her.  
  
"CJ, what's going on?" Josh asked worriedly.  
  
CJ moved a hand to her forehead and her eyes were empty. "Um, it's Miranda. She's throwing up and Jenny says she has fever."  
  
Everyone just looked at her for a short moment. Then she felt someone's hand on her arm.  
  
"Come on, let's go," Toby said softly.  
  
TBC. 


	18. Part 18

A/N: If you haven't noticed the change in part 17 you should go and check it out before you read this part. For other notes and disclaimers, see part 1.  
  
Part 18  
  
CJ and Toby hurried into Miranda's bedroom. Jenny was sitting on the bed holding Miranda's tiny hand in hers. CJ quickly walked over to the bed but Toby stayed at the door.  
  
"She's sleeping now," Jenny whispered. "I called my babysister's housedoctor and she said it was probably just the flu."  
  
"She wasn't sure?" CJ asked anxiously.  
  
Jenny shook her head. "If it gets worse you should take her to the hospital immediately, otherwise wait until tomorrow."  
  
CJ smiled slightly. "Thank you. You can go home now."  
  
Jenny gave CJ a reassuring smile and then she left. Carefully, CJ sat down on the bed. She brushed away a stray of hair from her face.  
  
"What have I done to you?" she whispered.  
  
"CJ, this is not your fault."  
  
She turned and noticed that Toby was still standing in the door. She looked away and blinked away the tears that were threatening to come.  
  
"Toby, you don't understand." She sobbed silently. "I shouldn't have the job I have. It's not good for her."  
  
She stopped talking and put her hands over her face and silently cried.  
  
It ached to see her cry so Toby slowly walked over to her. He lowered himself to his knees and gently took away her hands from her face and put his on her cheeks.  
  
"CJ, look at me. Everything's is going to be okay. It's just the flu and if not we'll take her to the hospital tonight. Everything's going to be fine. These things happen. Kids get sick."  
  
He smiled softly.  
  
"Why are you so good to me?" She said quietly. "I treat you like shit, always have, but you're always good to me. Why?"  
  
He looked away, then "Because I love you."  
  
CJ moved her hand to his cheek and gently brushed it. "How, how can you love me?"  
  
"CJ, you're my best friend and I care so much about you. I won't let go of you no matter what we say or do to each other. I tried to once but realized I could never live without you."  
  
She slowly nodded and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for what I said to you in your office. I know I hurt you so much, again, and I'm so sorry."  
  
Toby looked away as if it still hurt to think about it.  
  
"Toby, I've realized I can't handle her. Not alone, I can't take care of her on my own."  
  
Toby stayed quiet, knowing that she wasn't done yet.  
  
She began sobbing again. "And I was a shamed of myself for knowing that you treated her better than I, and I hated you for that. I just wish I could be as good parent as you are to her."  
  
"CJ, she adores you!"  
  
She slowly shook her head, but not at what he just had said. "And I am sorry for what I did to you twenty years ago. And I do, as you do too, wish that Miranda was our kid and that we could have gotten another chance. And I wish I could turn back time and prevent myself for doing all those terrible things."  
  
Toby put his arms around her and held her tightly while she was crying. "CJ, that's enough. It's okay. We're okay. And most important, Miranda is." He kissed her on the forehead.  
  
She looked up at him. "I'm so sorry I robbed you the chance of becoming a father. I know that you would have made a great one. I knew even back then. It wasn't you, it was me. I was afraid, afraid of become what I have become now, to Miranda. But now I know that I would have made it back then even though, because I would have had you by my side." She paused for a short moment and closed her eyes. "I want you to be a part of Miranda's life. Not because I want to make up to you, just because she loves and adores you and I know you feel the same way about her."  
  
"I do," he said quietly.  
  
She smiled slightly. "So, you'll help me take care of her?"  
  
He nodded and kissed her on the forehead again. "Yes."  
  
  
  
TBC. 


	19. Part 19

For notes and disclaimers, see part 1.  
  
Part 19  
  
CJ looked up when she heard someone tap lightly on the doorframe. When she saw who it was, she rose.  
  
"Mr. President," she said and smiled.  
  
"Hey, CJ," he said quietly and walked over to the couch.  
  
He sat down on it next to where Miranda was lying. He gently tucked the blanket tighter around her. CJ couldn't help grinning.  
  
"How is she feeling?"  
  
"She's getting better," CJ said while her smile faded.  
  
Jed looked a bit embarrassed. "I just wanted to come down here and see how she was doing, you know?" CJ nodded. "I was so worried when I heard she was sick."  
  
"So was I. The doctor said it just was the flu, though. She should be fine in a couple of days." She looked worriedly at him. "Sir, I hope it's not a problem that she's here."  
  
Jed grinned. "Are you kidding me? Just let me know if you need help watching her." He winked at her. "CJ, it's almost 6.30. Why don't you head home? I'm sure this little girl wants to be in her own bed."  
  
CJ also looked at the time. "Jeez, I'll never learn will I?" She smiled a little. "So, what are you doing tonight, sir? If you don't mind me asking."  
  
"I better catch up on my reading."  
  
CJ saw Toby walking towards her office and she looked down to hide her smile. Toby looked a bit surprised, to say the least, to find Jed next to Miranda.  
  
"Good evening, sir."  
  
"Toby," Jed said and smiled. "You can't give CJ anymore work tonight. I'm sending her home."  
  
Toby blushed and looked away. "I wasn't planning to. Actually I was planning on driving them home and buy them take out on the way."  
  
The President looked a bit surprised, but also as he had expected it. He rose and smiled. "Just don't buy her something from McDonald's, will you?" He said and smiled before leaving.  
  
Toby turned to CJ and grinned. "So, McDonald's it is then?"  
  
CJ smiled slightly and began packing down her things in her briefcase. "You know Toby, you don't have to do this. I mean, don't get me wrong here. Both Miranda and I love that you're spending so much time with us but."  
  
"And I love spending time with the two of you," he interrupted. "So, there shouldn't be a problem, right?"  
  
CJ smiled and shook her head. Toby gave his briefcase to CJ and then bent down to pick up Miranda. CJ couldn't help getting a bit moody when she saw how gently Toby was handling Miranda. The first two days CJ had stayed home with Miranda and Toby had come over after work every night. CJ could tell Miranda loved being with Toby and also that it was mutual.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Jed put away his book on the nightstand along with his glasses. He turned to look at Abbey who seemed to be sleeping deeply. He gently shook her.  
  
"Abbey? Abbey, are you sleeping?" He shook her a little harder. "Abbey? Wake up!"  
  
Abbey groaned loudly. "Jed, I'm trying to sleep here!"  
  
"I'm sorry, I thought you were awake."  
  
"No, you didn't," Abbey muttered.  
  
"I just." He trailed off and Abbey turned to look at him.  
  
"What?" She asked tiredly but Jed could hear her curiosity.  
  
He lay down so he was facing her. "The weirdest thing happened tonight. I was with CJ in her office when Toby came by. He was taking them home to their apartment and he was going to buy them food and all. And you know what the weirdest thing was? CJ didn't even seem surprised that he offered. It almost seemed as it was something they did every night."  
  
"Jed, you woke me up for this?"  
  
Jed shrugged a little but smiled. "I'm sorry. It's just that, do you think they've finally acted on their feelings?"  
  
"Darling, the day that will happen, I can promise you, none of us will be alive to see it." She kissed him lightly on the nose before turning around.  
  
TBC. 


	20. Part 20

For notes and disclaimers, see part 1. Note in the end.  
  
Part 20  
  
Toby opened his eyes and first he didn't understand where he was. Then he looked to the side and saw Miranda sleeping next to him with her arm around his belly. He smiled and kissed her on the forehead before he quietly climbed out of the bed. He looked at the time and saw that it was almost midnight. He sighed and left Miranda's room. Out in the hallway a few lights were still on. He walked to the living room to get his coat. When he was walking towards the door he felt a sudden urge to see CJ. He quietly walked towards her bedroom and opened the door. The light on her nightstand was still on. She was sitting in bed, leaning her head against the wall, sleeping. She still had her glasses on and a pile of papers next to her. Toby smiled and slowly walked towards the bed and sat down on it. He gently took off her glasses and gathered the papers and put them on the nightstand before turning off the light. He softly kissed her on the cheek.  
  
"Toby?" She murmured.  
  
He looked up at her and noticed that her eyes still were closed. "Yes, it's me," he whispered.  
  
He could see her smiling and then she crawled down under the covers. Toby stayed on her bed for a while, just watching her while he caressed her cheek. Then he kissed her on the cheek one more time before forcing himself to leave.  
  
* * * * *  
  
CJ entered Leo's office as quiet as possible but realized it was no idea when everybody stopped talking and turned to look at her. "Hey," she said softly.  
  
"CJ, I'm glad you could join us this morning," Leo said sarcastically, but CJ could hear the easiness in his voice.  
  
"I'm sorry, sir." She sat down on the couch next to Josh. "It's just that. We overslept this morning. I haven't slept this good in months!"  
  
"And why is that, if I may ask, Claudia Jean?" Josh smirked.  
  
CJ hit him lightly on the arm. "No, you may not!"  
  
Leo grinned but then turned serious. "Okay kids, back to work."  
  
As they walked down the hallway after morning staff CJ gently grabbed Toby's arm and stopped him.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Um, I just. Thank you for taking care of Miranda last night. I really needed to get to bed early."  
  
Toby smiled. "Yeah, if 11.30 is early."  
  
They slowly began walking down the hallway without saying a word to each other. When they reached the Communications Bullpen Toby turned to look at her. She blushed and looked at the floor.  
  
"I was thinking maybe you want to come over tonight again. I know Miranda would like that," she said quietly.  
  
He took a step closer to her and placed his hand on her upper arm. "And what about you?"  
  
She looked up at him and Toby smiled when he saw her blushing.  
  
"I would like that too," she said softly.  
  
"Then I will see you later."  
  
When CJ returned to her office, it wasn't until she had sat down behind her desk that she noticed who was sitting on her couch. She quickly rose.  
  
"Ma'am!"  
  
Abbey smiled and walked over to the door and closed it. "Claudia, Claudia, have a minute over for the First Lady?" CJ walked around her desk and sat down on the couch next to Abbey. "I guess," she said, suspecting this was something she wouldn't like.  
  
"So, what's this I hear about you and Toby finally admitting your feelings for each other?" Abbey blurted out.  
  
CJ jumped up as she said, "Ma'am!" and began pacing in her office, her hand to her forehead.  
  
When she finally calmed down she took a deep breath and turned to Abbey. "Ma'am, where on earth did you get that crazy idea?"  
  
"My husband," Abbey said simply.  
  
CJ shrugged and covered her face with her hands. "Ma'am, there's nothing going on between me and Toby."  
  
"Yet," Abbey added and smirked.  
  
"Abbey." CJ said in a warning tone.  
  
"Stop caring about things that don't concern me?"  
  
CJ smiled slightly and sat down on the couch again. "Abbey, it's just that. Toby and I don't even know where we stand yet. Or I do, but I don't know where he stand so I can't."  
  
"CJ," Abbey interrupted. "Can you honestly tell me that you have never noticed the way Toby's looking at you? CJ, the man adores you!"  
  
CJ sighed. "Abbey, there was a time when. When we were together but," Abbey's surprised look didn't go unnoticed by CJ, "I did something and even if he has forgiven me I understand him if he never wants to be with me again."  
  
"Tell me, when where you together?"  
  
CJ smiled at the First Lady's curiosity.  
  
"When we were young, in our early twenties."  
  
Abbey almost gasped. "Sometimes I forget how long you two have known each other."  
  
CJ shrugged and smiled. "Abbey, I loved him back then and I loved him when he left."  
  
"Whoa, whoa? He left you? Is he crazy?"  
  
CJ sighed. "Abbey, don't go there, okay? I'm not going into details with you. Just know that Toby wasn't the bad guy in this."  
  
Abbey slowly nodded.  
  
"Since he left me I never loved anyone else. I'm 42 years old and I have only loved one man in my entire life! How silly and stupid isn't that?!"  
  
Abbey placed her hand over CJ's. "That's not silly and it's not stupid. If it's anything, it's beautiful! The only silly and stupid thing about it is thinking of all the years you two have been wasted. CJ, just think about all the time you've spent apart that you could have been together."  
  
"I rather not," CJ said bitterly.  
  
TBC.  
  
A/N: As you may have noticed this fic is going to end soon. The only problem is I haven't come up with a good end yet. Suggestions are very welcome, =). But seriously, I'm going to try to come up with something good and I'll try to post again real soon. Thank you so much for all your kind feedback! 


	21. Part 21

A/N: Yeah, I'm on a roll today, =). So, this is the final part of the Miranda-fic. I want to thank everyone for your wonderful feedback and all reviews I've got, so; thanks! And I hope this last part doesn't disappoint you but I felt I couldn't write so much more about this now, it'd just be the same over and over again and it would be too long. It'd be nice to get a review of the last part *grins*. It's always fun to see what you think.  
  
  
  
Part 21  
  
CJ was in the kitchen preparing dinner when she felt Miranda pulling her skirt. She lowered herself to her knees and smiled.  
  
"What's the matter, sweetie?"  
  
"Can't you come and watch cartoons with me?"  
  
CJ smiled softly. "Miranda, I have to prepare dinner and..."  
  
"Please!"  
  
"That's not fair. You know I can't say no to you when you get your puppy- eyes."  
  
Miranda grinned and stretched out her arms. CJ picked her up and walked towards the living room.  
  
"What is this?" CJ asked.  
  
"Duh! It's Taz!"  
  
"Isn't that a bit scary for you?"  
  
"Aunt CJ!"  
  
Just then, the doorbell rang. Miranda looked at CJ who smiled.  
  
"Who might that be?" She asked. "Do you want to go and open the door?" Miranda looked a bit frightened. "Come on, I'll go with you."  
  
She picked her up and walked towards the door and opened it. Miranda smiled brightly when she saw who it was.  
  
"Toby!"  
  
"Hey, pumpkin." He kissed her lightly on the cheek.  
  
"Come watch cartoons with us?"  
  
CJ grinned when she saw Toby's painful expression.  
  
When they had been watching cartoons for fifteen minutes, CJ rose. "I think I better continue with dinner."  
  
"I'll help you," Toby offered.  
  
"You know, I know how to cook," CJ said when they were out in the kitchen.  
  
Toby grinned. "CJ, this is me, Toby, remember? You can't cook, plus I couldn't take watching more cartoons."  
  
CJ smiled. "Okay, I admit it. I can't cook and I probably never will learn how to."  
  
"Why don't you cut the salad and I'll do the cooking?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
They were quiet for several minutes, both thinking of something to say to the other.  
  
"Toby," CJ said suddenly.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Later tonight, after we've put Miranda to bed, I think we need to talk."  
  
Toby, not liking the sound of 'we need to talk' just nodded slowly. Just then, Miranda entered the kitchen with her purple bear in one hand and her favorite book in the other.  
  
"Toby! Read to me!"  
  
"We're going to eat now," Toby said. "Maybe after dinner."  
  
After they put Miranda to bed they sat down on the couch in the living room.  
  
"Oh, you want a glass of wine or maybe scotch?" CJ asked.  
  
"No thank you. I'm driving."  
  
"Oh," she said quietly. "Are you sure?" He nodded slowly. "Okay, I need some wine for this so I'll be back in a few seconds."  
  
After the left, Toby groaned and thought briefly of getting out of there before she returned.  
  
"Here," she said and held out a glass of scotch.  
  
"CJ, I just said."  
  
CJ sat down next to him, nervously sipping her wine. "Toby, believe me. You'll probably need it. Just. I'll pay for a cab or you can crash on the couch, just." She turned to look at him with begging eyes. "Please."  
  
He took the glass. "Okay," he said quietly.  
  
They had been sitting quiet next to each other for five minutes now. Toby was too afraid of asking what was so important and CJ was too afraid to bring this up, knowing she'd make a fool of herself. Suddenly, she felt his hand cover hers.  
  
"CJ?" He said softly. "Whatever it is you need to talk to me about, just say it."  
  
She turned to look at him and it was first now that he noticed the unshed tears in her eyes.  
  
"CJ?" He asked, now worriedly.  
  
CJ placed her finger over his lips to silence him.  
  
"Toby, I still love you", she blurted out. "I mean, I'm still in love with you." Without giving him a chance to speak she continued. "I have loved you all the time, Toby. You've been the only man I've ever loved and probably the only man I ever will love."  
  
Slowly she turned to look at him and he just looked at her with an expression she wasn't able to read. "I just, I need to know, Toby."  
  
When she didn't continue Toby looked confused at her.  
  
"Need to know what, CJ?"  
  
CJ nervously sipped her wine. "I need to know if there's ever a chance of us getting together, some time in the future, because otherwise I can't stay here. I've watched you marry Andy, I've watched you go out on dates after that and I can't bare to stand on the side looking at you and other women anymore. It just hurts too much."  
  
She looked nervously at him. She still wasn't sure of what was running through his mind. He had an expression she hadn't seen before and it scared her.  
  
"So, is there?" She asked when he didn't say anything. "Is there, even the slightest, chance that maybe sometime in the future you'd want me again?"  
  
He looked at her and slowly shook his head. "No."  
  
It was as if her entire world shattered around her. She drank up what was left in her glass then poured up another one. Toby just looked at her without showing any kind of emotions.  
  
"Okay," she whispered after a short moment. "Then I have too..."  
  
She stopped talking when she felt his hand covering hers. With tears in her eyes she turned to look at him. He smiled softly.  
  
"I don't want you sometime in the future, CJ," he whispered gently. "I want you now."  
  
He leaned closer and softly kissed her on the lips.  
  
THE END. 


End file.
